MBBS

What is mbbs will be the first word that pop into people mind whenever I told people what I studied, especially the elderly people , they be like " girl, what is that " . It is an abbreviation for bachelor in medicine and surgery. Sometimes , I be wondering during my free time and ask myself, why on earth would I actually want to take this degree, do I take it because people can call me doctor in the future or did i took it because I generally have passion and willing to serve my country? I can't said much for others but till today I still think about it and linger on my choice at times. I only know I want to study medicine when i was 16 and subsequently I did my own research on how to study and how do you enrolled into this course all by myself. This is because none of my cousins ever took medicine as their degree and my parents knew nothing about it at all. The only thing we all know is that it is not easy and it is tough, the word TOUGH actually appear uncountable times during the moment I step into my course. I had lost count of how many times i mentioned it to others. People always think that the word 'TOUGH' keeps on appearing in my course is normal as it had been labelled tough since day one in other people's eye. The course itself is not tough , but the friends around me or the lecturers around me make me feel tough. It doesn't make sense right ? How could your friends possibly make it tough for you. Example : When I first took my exam in the course, I failed badly, a legit F , it wasn't easy for me to take in, I was sad and frustrated at the same time because I did work hard but couldn't score and oh well the F did not stop , it went on for like 3 times and yet I'm still experiencing failures in life, on my paper of course. Then, I told my friends , I was taken back when some of them mentioned this phrase to me ' Didn't you study' 'oh, you must have not been studying' 'told y'all, you are not suitable for this course' and etc. These were the words that actually made my course tough, the words that just shattered your dream, the words that made you feel small, the words that made you feel like ' yes, I can't possibly to do that'. Everyday, I keep on doubting myself, am I making the right choice to do what is said to be one of the toughest job to be done , am I capable in doing that. The answer would be yes, my answer is yes because if I'm not capable in doing it , I would have gave up long time ago , I would just abandoned it and never go to every classes, every lab sessions or every clinical sessions, i would have told myself ' nicole, stop, you can't possibly do it.' These word the words that I would muttered to myself to stop the journey. Almost one year i'm in this course, I don't know if I can do it but I will die trying because i wanted it, I can't guarantee myself to be an excellent doctor but I will die trying. Some people might think I'm stupid, wasting my talent and instead venture into a field not knowing where will I stand or what are my achievements . Yes, I didnt choose the course what others might think that is more suitable for me , but I hope next time , these people will understand why did I choose this course. As I know, to do great work, you need great stories to tell others. I start embracing my failures as part of my stories to do great work because I know by faith , I get there eventually.